Updated: Feb 25
The practice of prayer can be considered a skill to be mastered, much like an art or a sport. It can be cultivated and developed through diligent practice, yet it can be difficult for most adults, let alone children. However, it has been my experience that if the children are exposed to the idea of contemplation and have been actively encouraged to practice it, they can quickly develop an active prayer life and will be better able to pray as adults. Alongside fasting and giving alms, we are encouraged to deepen our prayer-life during the Great Fast. Here are some tips for nurturing and developing the art of contemplation with the children in your home.
Encourage a Prayerful Atmosphere in the Home
A peaceful atmosphere can make it much easier to keep a reflective attitude throughout the day that just lends itself willingly to prayer.
My children's friends often remark, when they visit our home, is that it is usually much quieter than they expected for a household of seven people. I have to giggle at that, but it really is true. I try to keep a peaceful and reflective atmosphere as much as possible by keeping the television or radio off most of the time. Of course, music is great once in a while, and it's not that we don't listen to the television or radio, play the piano, or even sing at a moment's notice once in a while around here! We do! It's just chosen carefully and kept to the proper time and place to not become a distraction.
Be What You Want Them to Become
One of the most important things you can do for your child's spiritual life is to let them see you pray.
When our youngest, twin girls, were about 18 months old, I felt the desire to become an oblate at the local Byzantine monastery. As I began to attend the monthly meetings and receive instruction, I learned that I was expected to say both Matins and Vespers daily and keep at least 30 minutes daily in contemplative prayer. As the mom of five children under ten years of age, this was no easy task, even if I do like to pray!
I began by carving out a bit of time at around 10 am to say Matins. I got the little ones dressed, fed, and occupied with a toy or game and then would sneak off to the living room to open my book and begin. One by one, the children would quietly come into the room and stare. I would put up a finger to let them know that I was speaking to God. They knew this signal well and understood that they should wait respectfully for me to acknowledge them, and then then they could ask whatever question they had. Usually, they had no problem, just curiosity. They just wanted to curl up next to me while I prayed. It literally stunned me that they were so good! Often they would ask to assist me by saying things like "Amen" or "Lord, have mercy" at the appropriate time. I marveled at how respectful and happy they were to pray with me! Even the babies grew so quiet and peaceful then. It's as if they knew we were all in the presence of God!
Soon afterward, I began to notice them looking through their little picture-bible storybooks on their own, in the same spot on the couch, "saying their prayers" during the day. It is so good to let them know HOW to joyfully immerse themselves in prayer, to let them feel the presence of God and know His love for us, and actively witness our love for Him in our own homes, while they are still small. It sets them up with a proper foundation upon which to build a lifetime of prayerful interaction with God, strengthening their relationship and enabling them to pass on the love of prayer to their own little saints someday.
Set up a Family Icon Corner
It is a longstanding tradition among our people to have a miniature chapel within our domestic churches.
This little icon corner is where the family can gather for prayer or to which individual members can retreat and be as simple or elaborate as you like. It may revolve around icons of Christ (on the right) and His Blessed Mother (on the left) as patterned after the Iconostasis in the church. It may include such items as a crucifix, holy water, a shelf for prayer books, blessed candles, a jar for collecting alms, a book or a basket to record prayer intentions, hooks for chotki and rosaries, and a place to burn incense. We have always had one of these in our home. One of my most treasured memories is of my children lining up along the railing of the upstairs balcony, which overlooks our foyer, where we have our family icon corner, each evening to say our prayers before bed.
Some families have also set up icon corners in each child’s bedroom where they can go any time of day or night to better focus on prayer. It may be as simple as installing a corner shelf on which they can place the icon of the child’s patron saint, holy water that the children are free to use whenever they wish, their prayer beads, and perhaps even a little battery-operated (safe) candle, which can even be used as a night light.
Another idea may be to dedicate a closet as a personal prayer chapel, either a large one for the entire family or a small space in a bedroom closet for each child. It is the perfect place for a little one to go to be alone with Jesus! The children may have icons on the wall of the interior of the closet, at their height, with perhaps a small shelf to hold beads and battery-operated candles and a basket of their favorite children’s bible storybooks or prayer books! A pillow and blanket will help make it a favorite and cozy place to snuggle up with Jesus and just be.
Encourage your children to take the time to be alone in prayer, to rest in Jesus’ eyes and speak to Him from their little hearts, and He will take care of the rest.